What Makes People Compatible or Incompatible?

1.  Comfort Compatibility: Comfort Compatibility occurs when people find comfort and mutual understanding with another person.  Despite popular opinion, opposites do not always attract.  Opposite characteristics initially attract about as often as similar qualities attract. 

Rule #1a: With most areas of EQ, when opposites attract, there is an initial heightened interest in the person who is so different.  Yet, conflicts soon develop.  For example, a quiet, reserved person may initially find a sociable person to be exciting.  However, as time goes on they may find that the sociable person wants to talk more and participate with new people much more than the quiet person is comfortable with.  These differences cause natural conflict but may be resolved as each person is seen as contributing something unique and special to the relationship (team).  The sociable person can come to be seen as the spokesperson while the quiet person can be valued as one who does more low-profile or hands-on types of work. 

Rule #1b: Usually, people who have similar qualities feel less excitement at first but find more long-term comfort with each other.  Two hard working people both believe in staying on task and in doing a lot of work per day.  Two leisurely people both believe in taking their time and spending more time resting or playing. 

The rule above holds true for the qualities of:   energy, optimism, self-esteem, commitment to work, attention to detail, desire for change, courage, consideration, and sociability.